Steve Smith and David Warner will be forced to spend 12 months on a remote island with Basil Zempilas, as punishment for the recent ball tampering scandal.
Cricket Australia worked together with the AFL to formulate the unique punishment, which was handed down just hours ago.
“We figured it was a good way to kill two birds with one stone,” said a Cricket Australia spokesman.
“We want to teach Steve and David a lesson, and the AFL desperately wants to keep Basil away from broadcasting. It’s a win-win situation, as far as we’re concerned.”
As part of the punishment, Smith and Warner will be required to watch all three Fox Sports channels on mute throughout the day while Basil commentates.
Smith and Warner were distraught upon hearing the news, but Basil seemed excited at the prospect of spending 365 days in close contact with his ‘new best friends’.
“I honestly can’t wait,” Basil said.
“It’ll just be us three blokes, alone on a remote island, watching sport while I deliver a never-ending play-by-play. What’s not to love?”
It has been suggested that Smith and Warner might appeal to the Human Rights Commission to overturn the punishment. Stay tuned to The First Reserve for fresh updates.